It's definitely been a while since I last attended a class. I believe it was a hot yoga session with a friend around a year ago. Then, it used to be so easy. I could let go of all of the frustrations of my day and all of the chatter in my head by just closing my eyes and exhaling deeply. Now, it's as though I have to force myself to get my thoughts to comply.
As I inhale, my mind wanders. As I exhale, I'm silently reminding myself to be centered. Yoga is a beautiful practice because of that. I remind myself that it's ok to get lost sometimes. It's ok for the mind to wander onto other things. But, it's all about recognizing it and bringing it back to the present moment.
Yesterday, I attended the first session of many in my future. I was of course a little rusty as I attempted some of the poses, but my real focus was on letting go of the mental fogginess I entered with. I focused on breathing from my belly. My mind buzzed with the music that played in the background.
It was a release of so much emotion and tension that I thought could just drift off to sleep at the end of class and cuddle up there the rest of the night. We went through a series of forward bends, bridges and balancing poses. The balancing poses were most fun as I challenged myself to focus on the moment and ground myself to the floor. I treated it as a success, patting myself on the back when it was time to move on to the next pose and I was still standing.
Finally, it was time to lay on our backs, feel our bodies sink into the floor, and relax. I laid there, focusing on the deep hum of the instrumentals. My eyes softly closed as we went through each body part slowly tensing then releasing, letting each area relax deeper as we put our focus onto it. My body fell deeper and deeper into relaxation, until finally I realized I really was drifting off to sleep.
Although that had to be the best part of the class, I think the most special time was leaving the class and realizing the lessons I learned from that hour. I was no longer lost in the anxious thoughts of endless tasks. Every negative feeling I had disappeared and it was as if I was euphoric, remembering what it was like to laugh and smile again.
Little things, I think now to myself. It really is the little things in life that can either break us or make us. Remember to laugh, smile, and play. Don't let little daily grievances overtake life. Life is so much bigger than those terrible little things. I realize that many amazing little things, whether it's success at a yoga pose or happiness laughing with a friend, add up to one amazing thing. But, if we let many negative little things add up, then it will quickly make us crumble.
One hour of yoga down. Many more hours of yoga (and lessons) to come.